Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Why don't I ever wake up with my leg behind my head?

Or in Kapotasana, for that matter. Last night, I had another bizarre dream. I seem to be having a lot of these lately (see, for instance, previous post). And I know you probably aren't particularly interested in reading about my dreams, but right now, I think they are probably more interesting to read about than my practice. My practice is not bad; it's chugging along, but there's nothing particularly ground-breaking to report on the practice front, so unless you really want to hear about every single little sensation I had in every single asana, I'll spare you the details.

So, last night's dream. This one is not about yoga, but is about martial arts. In fact, the whole dream feels a bit like a Bruce Lee movie or a video-game. Or maybe it is what a video-game based upon a Bruce Lee movie would feel like, if one were ever made. Anyway, this is how it goes:

I find myself on the roof-top of a tall building. Somehow, I need to break into the building, which is heavily guarded (very Bruce-Lee-movie-esque). And the only way into the building is by going into and down this long plastic slide that looks kind of like a slide at a water park, except it's dry. So I slide down the slide. As I am sliding down, I hear movement behind me; somebody (probably somebody evil) is coming down the slide behind me.

As I come out of the slide and emerge into a room in the building, I look behind me, and see that the person following me is this bald wiry guy with a little beard. He is holding what looks like a giant unfolded paper clip in his hands; somehow, I know that he kind of loops this giant unfolded paper clip over the neck of his victims, and strangles them that way. The funny thing is, I know that, and yet I allow him to do that to me. So I get strangled by the giant paper clip, and die. Game over. But somehow, I get to push a restart button somewhere (yeah, just like in a video-game), and I get to fight the guy again. This time, I snatch the paper clip from his hands before he can do anything to me. I stab him with the sharp ends of the paper clip, and kill him.

And then I get to opponent number 2 (again, just like a video-game). This guy is like an old-school karate master. He is dressed in a karate uniform, and politely insists on us having tea together before starting the fight. So we sit down at a nearby table, and sip some tea together. But it's hard to enjoy the tea when you know you're either about to get your ass kicked or kick the other guy's ass. But I go along with him anyway, and try to enjoy the tea as much as I can. I take a closer look at him, and realize that he's really well-built and muscular, and kind of looks like Carter Wong from Big Trouble in Little China:

Carter Wong in BTLC
[I can't locate the source of this image. If this image belongs to you, let me know, and I will acknowledge you. No need to sue my pants off :-)]

Anyway, Carter and I continue to drink tea and make small talk, but the whole time I'm thinking: Damn, I'm so fucked! My Tae-Kwon-Do skills are so rusty, I'll be lucky to even last thirty seconds in a fight with him.
We finish the tea, and it's time to fight. Somehow, I expect Carter to charge at me. But instead, he kind of just keeps circling around and shifting his weight from one foot to the other, waiting for the right moment to attack. Which is really unnerving. I decide that rather than play this circling and waiting game, I'll just go ahead and attack first. So I yell, and lunge forward with a right roundhouse kick at his face. He sidesteps to avoid the kick, and then...

And then I woke up to discover my right leg extended into the air in a roundhouse kick position!
Yes, I woke up in this position. Bizarre, right? 
[Image taken from here]

Yeah, I know what you're thinking: It sure would have been nice to know the outcome of that fight with Carter. Well, maybe next time :-)... But seriously, you think I can even last thirty seconds? In any case, I can't help wondering: If I'm flexible enough to wake up in a roundhouse kick position, why don't I ever wake up with my leg behind my head? Or in Kapotasana... Oh well.

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