Hail the latest celebrity yoga teacher... Yogi Victor! Can't wait to pack my bags and go take a workshop with this guy :-)
I wonder which yoga style this guy is trained in, and where his studio is located... apparently, according to the video, his studio is called the Yoga Spot, and it's somewhere in Texas, I'm guessing? Well, if any of you guys out there know anything, let me know.
In any case, this video is so hilarious (and insightful, in a very off-beat way) that I had to watch it three times. These are some important lessons I learnt from Yogi Victor:
1. You should evacuate your bowels between 4 and 6 a.m.
This is very insightful, especially in light of my recent post on bowel movements, and the interesting conversation it sparked. Wow, this Yogi Victor must be psychic or something: How did he know that I had been thinking about bowel movements?
Remember, you need to make sure your pipes are cleaned everyday between 4 and 6 a.m. Otherwise, you might not be able to put your leg behind your head (or your head behind your leg, for that matter).
2. Lunch is one of the worst things you can do to yourself.
Lunch is one of the worst things you can do to yourself... next to breakfast and dinner! Which means that if you desire to attain the greatest heights of yogic power, you should stop eating! But if one stops eating, then what would one be evacuating when one evacuates one's bowels? Well, residual toxins, of course! Which is why it is all the more important that one stops eating! If one keeps taking in all that bad stuff, how is the real work of evacuating toxins ever to begin?
3. Yoga mats in certain places in Texas have "Welcome" printed on them.
No offense to those of you from Texas, but if the King of the Hill says so, it must be true, right? :-)
4. Breathe through your feet.
Now, this is new! So nostrils grow on our feet too? Who knew? Actually, come to think of it, this might be the secret to getting Karandavasana: If you can breathe through your other nose (the one on your feet), then you can take in more prana than the average yogi. And this is an especially useful skill to have in an upside down position, when your feet are actually higher than your head, and are in a better position to take in air (if you know how to use those feet-nostrils, that is...). Gee, another reason to sign up for one of Yogi Victor's workshops, so I can learn how to activate these feet-nostrils :-)
5. It's not working; it is.
Need I say more?
6. Most men desire control; yogis control desire.
Ditto my comments on point 5.
Oh, and one more thing: Anybody know where I can get Yogi Victor's new relaxation tape of him making ocean noises? :-)
Gosh, this Yogi Victor is so life-changing! I learnt more in four and a half minutes than I have ever learnt in my entire yoga career before that!
Note to reader: You know this whole thing is a joke, right?